Just for The Grimes!  I have a feeling this could be really boring or really exciting! Go!

Reply to this and I’ll tell you why I like you. The catch is, you have to post this in your lj and do the same.

John

In today’s news…

1.)  I’ve now been working at COUNTRY (I’m not really sure why but COUNTRY apparently has to be capitalized in all electronic use) for a month and things are getting better.  I’m still doing some boring work but I can see where it fit’s in and why it needs to be done so it’s not so bad.  I’m getting to know more people and it’s going to help now that I’ve moved to a cubicle that’s located in the middle of my group instead of the Lawson HR group.  I also have picked up a few nicknames along the way.  From “The Intern” and “John ‘The I’ Keippel”, to “Harry.”  Apparently to this woman I look like Harry Potter.  Kind of random but it works.  Good times!

2.)  My car continues to be a POS and likes to randomly not start.  Apparently it’s a wiring issue.  Something is shorting out and draining my battery.  Not sure quite how but we’ll find out Tuesday!  I think I will instruct them to look only at the electrical system and ignore any other problems they may have the urge to investigate.  I don’t feel like putting out a ton of money into this car as I hope to get a “new” one ASAP.

3.)  I made some resolutions the other day.  Not quite New Years resolutions because it’s June and all but oh well.  What are they you ask?  The first is to volunteer more.  I kicked that one off by joining the group of people that heads out to clean a mile or so of the constitution trail that COUNTRY has adopted. Next step is travelling to BroMenn Monday morning to talk to someone there about a volunteer position.  There are several other opportunities that COUNTRY makes available to their employees and I plan to take full advantage of those as well.  The second resolution is to be more active.  I don’t consider myself to be a bum, but having the platinum meal plan for 2 semesters and spending almost every cent took it’s toll.  So I’ve decided that travelling one leg of the constitution trail each day of the week would be a good start.  Every three days is roughly 20 miles of rollerblading.  I just put on my headphones and go full speed to the end and back.  If anyone wants to join me just let me know but you’ve gotta be able to keep up!  Third and finally I decided that 10 years or so of chewing and picking at my finger nails is done.  Over the past few days I’ve done pretty good! 

4.)  I’m going to a wedding on Saturday.  I’ll know about 3 people.  Two of which I’ve actually met before.   Should be a fun time nonetheless!  I have to find something to where tomorrow so I can look spiffy on Saturday.  I havent had to spiff up since April so that should be fun as well! 

5.)  Five seemed like a good idea when I typed the “5.)” but now that I think about it there really isn’t much to say.  Poor 5. 

John

Please speak slowly
My heart is learning
Teach me heartache
Stop this burning now

Today is Monday June 20th 2005.

I got out of bed at 6:49.

At 7:05 I headed out the door.

My fucking car wouldn’t start.

I tinkered with it for 15 minutes.

My fucking car wouldn’t start.

Neil drove me to work 10 minutes later.

I was 40 minutes late.

Work was boring.

Karen picked me up from work.

We went to Sam’s Club.

I went to Wal-Mart.

Karen went to Aldi.

We went home.

My fucking car wouldn’t start.

I went rollerblading to Kerrick road.

I came home.

My car started.

I went driving with Karen to visit my cousin.

We came home.

I juggled the soccer ball with the boys.

We went home.

I ate some cereal.

I played Donkey Konga.

I pwned Jakes ass.

I’m typing this entry.

I’m done.

Good night.

John

i look alive but i’m loneliest with you
are we scarred by everything we trusted?

Payday was 30 minutes ago!  Woot!  Anyway, yeah, I dunno.  I really don’t have too much to say.  I’m going to bed because I have to be at work at 7am tomorrow.  I suppose that’s something.  Hmm…yeah, not really much else exciting happening.  My rollerblades got stolen because I left them outside overnight (I know I’m an idiot).  The new ones arent breaking in very well and I think I might return them because the right one is killing my right ankle.  Umm…I really wish I knew what was going on but it’s kinda fun being completely clueless not knowing what’s gonna happen next.  It’s the summer, my only obligation is work and I suppose that’s nice.  Jake has his boat building (Megan is in Ireland for another month and a half or so), Neil has the Rebecca, Eric has the Phantom Regiment, and I’m just a freebird flying all over.  I don’t know what that means but it’s late and I have to be at work in 6.5 hours so it doesn’t have to.

Anyway, I need something to do for the rest of summer.  Playing WoW is fun and all but sitting with my computer for hours on end is probably not the best way to spend my summer.  If anyone has any suggestion let me know.  Or, if you want to break up my day and force me to take a nice long lunch give me a call and we’ll figure something out.  Just to see how many people actually read this stupid thing, if you do decide join me at Country for lunch, or want to travel around BN looking for lunch you may  just be able to con me into buying.

So yeah, we’ll see how that goes.  I’m gonna go to bed and try to sleep my cares away.  I don’t have many but I have some that like to loiter for extended periods of time.  Just circling my brain staring at the nice people causing trouble as they pass by. 

Random thought of the day:  Never underestimate the power of “what if?” thinking…

Blah, I’m off to bed.  Night…

John

Now, in the deep and down, your heart moves.
Now, in the deep and down, I don’t know how but I know I want out.
Wait for something better, will I know when it can be us?
Wait for something better, maybe that doesn’t mean us.
Wait for something better, I shouldn’t, it’s not enough.
Pull one excuse from another.

And with pride, keep every failure in.
And with pride, hold on to your sinking.

It is quiet sitting in a parking lot off of College Avenue at 1:40 am as I write this.  Few cars pass and only the humming of the lights in the parking lots can be heard.  The breeze whispers with a hint of spring and a strong smell of the summer to come.

I came out here to get away from everything.  Not one thing or person specifically but many things.

Seems like a nice place to sit and think away from everyone who doesn’t quite know the whole story.  Some know most but most only know some.  Sometimes it’s hard for me to explain what I’m thinking and a lot of the time I will use the phrase “I don’t know” liberally.  Sometimes I don’t know and that’s ok sometimes.

Other times you’re thrown into a situation unexpectedly and don’t have a clue where to start.  Hell, you don’t even know where you want to end up.  I think I know where I want to be but I’m not sure it its’s possible.  There are 6 billion other people in the world and at any time it’s likely that at least one of those people has at least an indirect effect on some aspect of your life and the paths that will be travelled.

So what do I want?

Well, in the broadest terms I want what most want.  Happiness is a vague word.  I want to do things in life that aren’t “me”.  I want to have the freedom to do a job I enjoy, learn new things and not get stuck in a rut for 45-50 years of my life.  I want to spend my time with someone who doesn’t worry about the little things and takes exactly what they want out of life.

I need to make mistakes.  Find a job and realize I hate it.  Do something for the first time even if that’s the last time I do it.  We need to make mistakes to learn in life.  It’s impossible to luck your way through life never making mistakes and getting it right on the first try.  There isn’t always a true second chance to redo something you did wrong.  You have to step back and take in the big picture.  I’ve made mistakes in life and have done my best to learn from them.

For this reason I guess I would have to define life as a series of mistakes.

The key to a successful life is knowing how to learn from these mistakes instead of throwing in the towel.  Given my definition I cannot say I myself have been perfect, but I learn.

—-

I keep looking down the street in hopes that one person I’d like to just sit and talk with will magically appear.  Maybe they’ll walk up behind me, tap me on the shoulder and just say hello.  We’d be able to put everything on the table and sort out this jumbled mess we’ve seem to gotten ourselves into. 

John

dance by yourself and
think of me when you do
i’m not sure you understand
what this means to me
what you do to me
i’m willing to prove
that you’re the one
i regret to slip away
now i know it was only you
that i’ve been searchin’ for
been missin all this time

Waiting…Not really sure what’s gonna happen…

John

Crazy Homer thought he was actually going to make it across!

John

Tell all the dreams that you have let slip right through your hands
Do you feel lost inside of someone else’s life

and we’re not gonna live forever
Can you tell me is it now or never
I’m not gonna make up your mind

I don’t wanna live without you
And I don’t wanna live a lie
We’ll never know till we try
Yeah we’ll never know till we try

Failure is the only way to learn till you’ve come undone
the rest will never find out what they might have been

and we’re not gonna live forever
Can you tell me is it now or never
I’m not gonna make up your mind

I don’t wanna live without you
And I don’t wanna live a lie
We’ll never know till we try
Yeah we’ll never know till we try

So don’t tell me sometime just where did we go wrong, yeah

and we’re not gonna live forever
Can you tell me is it now or never
I’m not gonna make up your mind

I don’t wanna live without you
And I don’t wanna live a lie
We’ll never know till we try
Yeah we’ll never know till we try

PS.  ^^ Damn good CD ^^ All the songs just fit…

So I was sitting here, just chilling and a fucking anvil fell through the roof.  I’m currently laying in a John shaped hole.  Wake me when the dust settles.  Night!

John

…yeah it fits…no sneakyness here folks…

Sitting at work for 8 hours a day with a cubicle all to yourself will really get you thinking.  What do I really want?

John

This is the end of a really sad story
But don’t feel bad for me
I started out alone and in the end that’s where I’ll be
Like the star of a really sad story
You don’t live happily
I started out alone and in the end that’s where I’ll be