From the mouth of the ass himself…

“America is a free society which limits the role of government in the lives of our citizens. In this country, people are free to choose how they live their lives.” (George W. Bush, June 5th 2006)

Wow, thanks for that! Maybe I’m missing something when you insert that statement in a press conference regarding an amendment to ban same sex marriage. I couldn’t have less respect for the man than I do now.

• George W. Bush,
• Homophobes,
• Those that can’t see the difference between rights and religion,
• Anyone for a federal ban on same sex marriages

Subject: Get a clue!

The time is coming. One day, I can only hope the day comes soon, the argument will be over. Same sex marriages will no longer be the hot topic but just another marriage. Get with the program. African Americans are no longer slaves, they no longer have to sit at the back of the bus, and no one cares what drinking fountain you drink from. On that note women also have the right to vote. Who knew! The parallels between these movements throughout history is almost uncanny. Just as we look back today and think it was silly that people actually faught against the end of slavery, that people argued for segregation in schools, and that people didn’t think women should have the right to vote, we will soon look back and realize that same sex marriage is not the end of the world. Get over it!

John

Some may already know my plan to clean up the stupidity that rages in the world today. If you don’t continue reading! Here we go!

The solution is simply a giant catapult. Much like the one shown below, except bigger, shinier, and much more real. Anyway, the idea here is to build such a catapult in order to launch those that lack even a small glimmer of common sense. I’ll first describe the image below and then I’ll develop a quick and easy way to determine just who should get in line for a one way ticket to nowhere.

1. This of course is the moon. More on that later.
2. Don’t look at this as a giant boulder, it holds people!
3. THE Catapult
4. People burning up in the atmosphere. More on that too.
5. Stupid people by the hundreds!

Ok, so right now you probably think I’m some sick freak who just wants to off a bunch of people by catapulting them into the upper atmosphere. Maybe you’re right on the catapulting part but here me out as to why this isn’t such a sick idea!

I don’t know about you but rarely a day goes by without me hearing about something so stupid that I just want to gouge my ears or eyes out depending on which method was used to obtain said information. It’s quite obvious to me, and hopefully it will be to you as well, that the people given a one way ticket will deserve such ride and will probably leave the world in a much better state. So let’s get to the list of eligible travellers!

• Anyone unable to accept responsibility for their own injury. Follow directions and use some common sense once in a while and all will be well. (ex. Guy listens to iPod too loud, sues Apple.)
• Anyone who is FOR an amendment/law/etc banning gay marriage. (Ignorance.)
• Anyone who is AGAINST a public smoking ban. (Can you say public health?)
• George W. Bush. (There are far too many reasons to list.)
• Anyone that destroys public and private property for fun (Cubs/Sox rioters, graffiti artists, other vandals.)
• Drivers that remain in the left or rightmost lane which has been scheduled to end for more than a mile. (Way to backup traffic.)
• Pretty much anyone that demonstrates a repeated lack of common sense.  ‘Nough said!

John